


Easiest solution

by margoteve



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Gen, Humour, Post-Movie, kinda crack??, relationship only hinted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 11:33:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8326222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margoteve/pseuds/margoteve
Summary: Sometimes the easiest solution is the hardest to come by. Why hasn't Megamind used the De-Gun on Metro Man?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [followmetoyourdoom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/followmetoyourdoom/gifts).



“And we have one last question from the audience!” The presenter gestured, with a wide smile, to the people gathered in the studio.

“Of course!” Megamind clapped his hands, loving the interview so far. 

He'd definitely become more relaxed with people around him after becoming the hero. His eyes briefly wondered to the behind the stage exit where Roxanne was giving him a double thumbs up and an encouraging smile.

“Mr. Megamind,” his attention had been called back to the show, “why did you never use your D-gun on Metro Man during your supervillain days? Or on Tighten?”

Megamind blinked, his expression turned blank for a split of second. The presenter caught that and opened her mouth to move the show forward and skip the question, but Megamind cleared his throat.

“Well, that’s kind of obvious isn’t it?” He shrugged, falling into an easy-going, smarter-than-you body language. “It never worked on Metro Man. I mean  _ obviously. _ I tested that at some point in my career, but ah, it only worked on his outfit, which was incredibly uncomfortable for both sides. Let’s move on, shall we?”

“Of course, Mr. Megamind, I think that now-” the presenter continued the show.

 

**Later that day**

**Evil Lair**

**Somewhere in Metro City**

**Definitely not the Industry Sector**

**Nope**

 

“AUGH I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!” 

Megamind was walking in circles, then throwing himself on the Evil Couch, just to jump up the next moment and begin pacing again.

“ALL THESE YEARS! Failures! Plans! _ Schemes! _ ! And for what?!” 

“How long has he been doing this?” Roxanne whispered to Minion as they watched Megamind’s antics from the sidelines.

“About 10 minutes or so. He didn't get to the blueprints yet,” Minion replied. He was holding a tray with doughnuts and coffee. “Sir,” he called to his friend, “I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“Not bad?! Minion! We spent YEARS battling Metro Man!” he ran up to the table with old blueprints and Minion sighed. And Megamind called him a drama queen “I threw every. Single. Invention!” the Blue Alien started to toss the projects in the air accenting his words with each blueprint. “At him! And what?! I could have just fired the De-Gun at him and it would have been over!” He slumped down on a chair. “I’m a fool.” he covered his face with his hands and groaned.

“You’re not a fool, Megamind,” Roxanne approached him and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his cheek. “You really never tested that De-Gun on him?” She kneaded his shoulders lightly.

“No,” Megamind sighed, dropping his hands down. “I kind of…” he gesticulated wildly in the air.

“Never thought of it?” Roxanne supplied, standing in front of him.

“Yeah,” he propped his cheek over his fist. “I mean, where is the fun in just walking up to a guy and shooting him. That just,” he cringed,” sounds dirty. And wrong, wrong type of wrong!” he added quickly. “No lasers and spikes needed! No elaborate schemes and kidnap options, Roxanne!”

“Oh, the horror!” She chuckled, seating herself in his lap, his arms immediately went around her waist.

He smiled sheepishly and licked his lips, looking at her. “There would have been no Death Ray either.”

“Then we should all be grateful for your little slip of mind.” She tilted his chin to her and kissed him tenderly.

Minion sighed, grateful for Miss Ritchi’s distraction tactics. She was so much better at this than Minion. 

The henchfish put the tray down and quietly excused himself out of the area. He didn't need to see where that distraction would lead.

 

**Bonus:**

“So… you want me to just stand here?” Wayne stared at the white X on the floor, doubtful of the whole charade.

“Yes! It’s just a test! Dehydration is an easy and safe process, trust me, I've had time since  _ scool  _ to perfect this method. I even used it on myself!” Megamind was almost bouncing on his feet. “Look we even have here a glass of water prepared for instant rehydration!” he gestured to Minion who was holding a tray with single glass of water.

“Does Roxanne know about this?” Wayne arched his eyebrow at his old rival.

Megamind stopped bouncing and looked embarrassed. “Nnno... We decided-”

“He decided,” Minion cut in.

“That it would be best not to inform Miss Ritchi about our little test.”

Wayne nodded. He could understand that.

“Okay, let’s do this.” He stepped onto the X mark.

Megamind checked the setting on the De-Gun and fired a blue ray at Wayne. It engulfed the ex-hero for a moment and then…

Megamind and Minion stared, shocked, at the result. The blue alien was clearly flustered.

“Welp! I guess this answers everything, right, sir?” Minion threw in cheerfully as he walked up to Wayne who was trying to shield his privates, butt-naked.

“Makes me really grateful you didn’t do that on public television.” Wayne chuckled watching the fish rehydrate his clothes.

Meanwhile Megamind made undignified, distressed noises at the back of his throat.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta Read by followmetoyourdoom. Feel free to send me prompts or talk to me on my [ tumblr ](margoteve.tumblr.com) . All comments, kudos are much appreciated!


End file.
